I pissed off a friend on facebook this evening because he posted some bible verse and then I made up one.

And be good unto others, for I am present always, and will be watching with a keen eye as to your shortcomings. Unfortunate is the one who strays from the way; my gifts will not reach your doorstep." 1 Santa Claus

Not great, but still pretty good off the cuff with a few beers in me.

I thought it would be awesome if you guys could come up with bible verses in a similar style, based on authors or movie stars or whoever. I promise to keep posting them to his facebook page if you can come up with something.

For he that has forsaken the execrable beast, veritably with his own serpentine eye, will be made to wear the failure as a lost brown sash, and yeah, he should wear it upon his head as did Cain, and so, be cast out like the reptiles to face the shame of men. And yea, the taints, alon, the taints alon.

-St. Sylvia St 13: 1

Arse was here.

December 25, 5 BCE

”Sweet dreams are made of these. Who am I to disagree? I travel the world, And the seven seas. Everybody's looking for something.” Eurythmics 2:6

Originally posted by: Arsis Arse was here.

December 25, 5 BCE :thumbsup:

you need the pictogram...

You do not yet realise your importance and have only begun to discover your power.Join me,with our combined strength we can put and end to conflict. I am your Father. Darth Vader 5:12

And he turned to me and he spake thus.

I carry twenty-three great wounds, all got in battle. Seventy-five men have I killed with my own hands in battle. I scatter, I burn my enemies' tents. I take away their flocks and herds. The Turks pay me a golden treasure, yet I am poor! Because I am a river to my people.

Lawrence 19:63

For I describeth the righteousness which is of the Hubbard, That the man which doeth those things shall live by them. Unless, of course, one giveth oneself to triangles Arc and KRC. For the children of the Hubbard shall be justified from all things.

Tom Cruise 2:18.

John 11:35

Here I am, master of your destiny. I am the one, the only one. I am the God of Kingdom Come.

Farrokh Bulsara: 5:86

Originally posted by: scudsucker John 11:35

Stick, I think you'll find that passage is "8:86" or more specifically "9:8:86".

Originally posted by: Big Ern Stick, I think you'll find that passage is "8:86" or more specifically "9:8:86".

You're a sad man.

And god said look after the planet. And man said fuck you!

"The Lord God is thy final frontier. In him lay your voyages, your mission of many years. Go forth and explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations, and boldly go thenceforth where no man has traversed before."

Kirk: NCC 17:01

Religion-A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. Bierce 7-11

Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just god when he's drunk.

Tom Waits, 7:1

And yea, he among ye that hath understanding knoweth this: There existeth none that by underestimating the intelligence of the American public hath become without riches.

• Mencken 19:26

On the contrary, whoever slaps you on the right cheek is dead as meat, turn to the Holy Hand Grenades... absent the wherewithal or resource for thine own Holy Hand Grenades, there is only one thing left for you to do: Run Away! Run Away!

• Python 5:39

Verily I say unto thee that thou mayst pass the word to thine children and thine children's children, Ha Ha.

• Nelson Muntz

"All thy base, they are part of God's kingdom. Thou art on the way to destruction. Thou will not survive, so make thy time."

CATS 21:01

These are substances of the Devil. Thou shalt not accompany thyself with such. As if ye so doeth, then thyself shall associate with evil, for these truly manifest evil. It is an act of evil to invoke such substance, so I say to thee: Do no evil, do not do so. M'kay, that would be evil.

Mackey : 17th episode : South Park

Great stuff!

And the multitudes became silent As the one who became royalty from subservient beginnings Walked the green fields to become the master of all champions And struck twice with his iron For a journey of 303 cubits
And thus proclaimed "It's in the hole".

The Book of Spackler

Buyeth your man many gifts for he is the bringer of bread and happyness. A woman must lay down her body regularly for thou shalt not keep a man if frigid. James 07:29

For I so loved the World that I gave my only begotten son, who turned out to be a pussy pacifist, and got himself killed before he did shit all.. God 1:11 33